Saturday, July 5, 2014

Advice from Momma Cat: Training your Human to Open the Door

Dear Momma Cat,

I am in the house, but I want to go Out. I know that this contraption opens to Out, but I don't know how it works.

There is a Drooler at my house who has somehow trained my Humans to open it for her, but how do I get them to open it for me?


I Want Out

Dear I Want Out,

That is a tough one. The contraption in your photo is what the humans refer to as a door. Getting them to open it for you is one trick that the Droolers seem to have our humans perform for them several times a day just by barking and spinning in circles and running back and forth from the human to the door. This type of behaviour is obviously unbefitting for felines.

Some felines have mastered the art of jumping up to press the button that makes humans open the door for other humans who are outside and want in. In all my long life of eight years I have only met one feline who was proficient at this feat. She told me that her human would open the door, look around in complete befuddlement when there would be no human waiting on the outside, just a feline!

If you are fast and silent enough, you could try waiting until your human opens 
the door to get stuff from the little metal box on the outside of the house. My human does this every morning, but I can’t seem to get her to leave me be when I get out. She always chases me back in.

So I am sorry, Little One Who Wants Out. There are some tricks that are difficult to train humans to do. If you are really desperate, you could try to get a Drooler to help you. They are stupid creatures who do tricks for their humans and whine when they are left alone, but they do seem to know how to get the humans to let them out.

Momma Cat

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