Advice from Momma Cat to Humiliated Tom

Dear Momma Cat,

I am a miserable little kitty. My momma sent me to live with new humans. I really miss my momma and my nine brothers and sisters. My new humans put me in a small room all by myself. I was so lonely! I cried and cried, but my momma didn't come.

At least they put a clean litter box in my room. They come to clean it every day, and they bring me clean water and fresh food twice a day. They seem like really nice humans. The worst thing they did was when they put me in a little cage and took me in something they called a ‘car’ to a place called ‘the vet’.

I soon learned the vet is a cruel human with a torture chamber for animals. She put me on a hard, cold table and poked and prodded me all over. Then she took a tube with a very sharp thing at one end, and she poked me with it. That really hurt! Then my humans put me back in the little cage and took me back to their house and put me back in my little room.

After a few more days, they let me out of the room, and I found out that my humans have little humans living with them. That was when the real torture started.

The little humans are girl humans, and they seem to think that I am one of their playthings. They keep putting clothes on me; they hold me upside down and carry me around like a human cub; and they put me into something called a ‘stroller’ (like a bed, but it moves) and they push me around in it.

What can I do about these little humans? I don’t want to have to bite and scratch them, but sometimes it’s the only way I can get free. Especially the time they tried to put me in a tub full of water because they thought I needed a bath.

I really hope you can help me, Momma Cat. I can’t stand it here! Now I am hearing the big humans talking about taking me back to the vet to do something called ‘neutering’ to me. I don’t know what that means, but if it is something that the cruel vet does to felines, I’ve got to get out of this place!

I remain;

Humiliated Tomcat

Dear Tom,

You might not want to hear this, but your new humans sound like responsible staff for cats. I know all about vets. They are not cruel to felines, honest. The things that your vet does to you might hurt, but they are for your own good. Trust me.

Now, about your girl humans wanting to dress you up and play with you. This may sound cruel, but if you want them to stop, you will have to scratch them. Here is what I expect will happen: the girls will go running to the grown up humans and they will be crying about the scratches. From what you have told me about them, I suspect that your humans are already trained. A well trained human will tell their young that getting scratched is what happens when they play with you like a doll.

You are actually a fortunate kitty. Your humans are cleaning your litter box and taking you to the vet. The little girls who are tormenting you now will grow up soon. I know it seems like a long time for a kitten, but in two or three years they will be turning in their dolls for make- up and gadgets that will keep their attention for hours with something called “Facebook.”

So just be patient with your humans. It sounds like you have found a good home.

Yours meowly,

Momma Cat