Monday, June 16, 2014

Okay, The Dog Can Stay



I still don’t like dogs, but Brandi proved her worth late one night (actually, early one morning) in January of 2011. Here is the blog I wrote back then:



We forgot to lock the front door last night. It was a bad night to have been negligent. Good thing Brandi our Shih-tzu/Poodle Watch Puppy was on duty.

In the wee hours of the morning, a prowler in our neighbourhood broke into a home on our street, and stole cash and beer. He then went on to other homes, including ours. We woke up to the sound of Brandi barking her little puppy head off.

My husband, Derek, went to investigate. Our front door was standing open, and a lone figure wearing a hoodie over his head was walking down the street. Derek called the police.

It turned out that the police were already out looking for this fellow. In Canada, it isn't so easy to elude police on foot in the wintertime, since they can just follow the footprints in the snow. Unfortunately, this subject was able to dodge the officers by cutting through a busy gas station parking lot. Our phone call got them back on his trail, and they quickly caught up with him.

Brandi is so friendly and loves to greet everyone who comes to our door. I have often said that if a burglar ever got in she would lick him to death. I am glad to be proved wrong. A burglar did come to our door and her barking scared him away.


So I take back all of my “I don’t like dogs” rants. This one can stay. I am still a cat person, and I love our two cats, but I rather doubt if either of them would have scared away an intruder. They just sit on the window ledge and groom themselves.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

You! Human! I Want Out! From the blog of Freaky Cat




The cold Canadian winter had finally come to an end, and the balmy week or two of summer had not yet begun. It was, as the humans say, spring. The humans finally opened my door to the outside world, but then they put this wire mesh over my door, once again making me a prisoner inside their home. I must find a way to get back outside.





Hey, You! Human! Removed this mesh from my door. I want out!

 Once again, I am forced to take matters into my own paws! There must be a way past this wire mesh and this wall of green. This green stuff resembles grass, but it neither smells or tastes of grass, It must be a plot of the humans - a trick for making me believe that I am outside. They fool me not!

 You are evil. I am Freaky Cat, and I will get out!
Let me Out!

 Victory at last! I have broken through the wire mesh door! I am Out!

Out is nice. This is real grass!

Okay, that is enough of Out. Now I want back in.




#$%&* Meow! The humans have replaced the wire mesh over my door!
Hey! You! Human! Yes, you there, tap tap tapping on that little silver box thingy! Let me In!

They are evil, these humans. I will find a way. I am Freaky Cat! I got Out, and I will get back In!




Bwahahahahahah! I am Freaky Cat, and I am getting back in!
Ah! Yes! In is nice!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Freaky Cat Meets a Cute Little Fluff Ball

In the second year of the reign of Arwen, aka: Freaky Cat, there came a little white fluff ball to invade her majesty's reign of terror. The little fluff ball, aka: Brandi the Cute Little Puppy Dog, had no knowledge of the evil feline world or the maleficence portending any who dared to invade her majesty's personal space. Here, for the entertainment of those who dare, is the bloggage of Freaky Cat. 



















I am Arwen, ruler of this land, High Queen of All That Is. You may take my photograph. Yes, you - human. You may take my photograph, and then fetch my dinner. 
What is this fluffy white creature, and what is it doing in my dining hall?



Cute? No, I am cute! This odious fluffball is repugnant!


Adorable? No, this fluffball is neither cute nor adorable! I am cute and adorable. Focus that camera on me!












You, stay down there.This dining space is mine!




Humans! Remove the fluffball from my presence!



































It is still here. Must I take matters into my own paws?




Come here, little Fluffy Fluffy...






Why do you look at me like that? Cats cannot pick up hammers!










Now, the little fluffy is asleep. Good Fluffly Fluffy! I am Arwen, the Freaky Cat. I am very sneaky, no?








I was not going to anything to the sleepy little fluffball.